Author: David Trinko-Lima News

Helen once had eyes, ears, and mouth, and there were squeaks and fluff inside.

David Trinco | Lima News

Check out David Trinko's past columns at LimaOhio.com/tag/trinko.

Subscribe to the Trinko Thinks So podcast at LimaOhio.com/podcasts.

When our 2-year-old dog is motionless, it is often mistaken for an oversized plush toy.

He is a white-brown "Goldendoodle", a hybrid of a golden retriever and a poodle, with soft curly hair. He is the most fluffy and friendliest puppy you have ever seen, weighing 30 pounds.

He likes to play. He likes to hug. He likes to be loved.

He is also a serial killer.

Behind him is a series of victims: Helen, Lenny, and Mr. Fox. Many more people don't even live long enough to get a name.

He likes to destroy plush dog toys. For reasons that I don't fully understand, my wife likes to find some stuffed dog toys with squeaking noise for him to destroy.

Otherwise he is a pretty good boy. Although he likes furry things, he ignores our children's toys.

He is also good at handling certain brands of balls and bones that we find hard enough for him. However, the plush dog toy is his kryptonite.

Many mornings, I wake up and let our dogs go out to feed them. Then I will start picking up pieces of cloth and fluff scattered on the floor from any poor stuffed lizard, cow or fox that no longer resembles myself.

I know what you are talking about: stop buying dog fur toys. I know this because I myself have said it to my wife over and over again.

However, the dog's immediate reaction to the new toy is very cute. It's like the best friend of mankind has made a new best friend. He was so excited. He loves to play so much, he is so happy

Then he began to tear off its limbs.

This is how we ended up with Helen. Helen was a squeaking cow at first. She is advertised as an "indestructible" large dog.

what can I say? Our dog loves challenges. He tore her ears, eyes and mouth from her within half an hour. One of our girls joked that it was like Helen Keller, and the name was kept.

Since then, Helen has lost all the fillers. She is now a flat, tough fabric, and our dog likes to put it in his mouth to lure you into a tug-of-war competition.

My wife sent photos of the massacre to the company. They kindly sent us another toy, and they claimed that squirrels are more suitable for destructive dogs. Five minutes after opening it, it lost a leg. We gave the rest of the other good-quality toys to my sister-in-law’s dog. It respected the integrity of the toy in a way that our dog could not do.

I don't like how destructive our dog is. Lenny suffered the same fate as Helen, and the once proud lizard is now reduced to a flat fabric. Mr. Fox only has the pink squeaky ball inside him.

I will not tolerate my wife continuing to buy toys that we know will eventually be destroyed in our house. She is fostering his tendency to be serial killers. She helped and abetted our budding killers.

I also understand that you love the one you love, even if he has rough habits. It's hard to keep angry with such a little furry monster.

Check out David Trinko's past columns at LimaOhio.com/tag/trinko.

Subscribe to the Trinko Thinks So podcast at LimaOhio.com/podcasts.

David Trinko is the editor-in-chief of Lima News. Please call 567-242-0467, send an email to dtrinko@limanews.com or contact him on Twitter @Lima_Trinko.

David Trinko is the editor-in-chief of Lima News. Please call 567-242-0467, send an email to dtrinko@limanews.com or contact him on Twitter @Lima_Trinko.

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