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I have a dog. I love dogs. But I have a confession: I don’t like it when people bring their dogs to restaurants. Even outside. Because for every well-behaved dog I meet, there are 10 that aren’t, and their owners — not unlike parents who fail to remove crying babies or discipline rambunctious young children — are often inconsiderate to the other guests who are there to enjoy their experience. Can you please address this?

Altamonte Springs dog lover who knows enough to leave hers at home

Oh, Dog Lover — you are singing my song.

I love my dog. I love other people’s dogs. I want to pet alllll the dogs! But when I see pets up on the table (the table!) at a restaurant, even little ones packed in purses that aren’t physically touching the surface, I die a little inside.

Hardly. Most states don’t even allow non-service animals in restaurants. Anywhere.

Florida is among those that allow for local governments to pass exemptions to the state’s FDA food code (see Florida Statute 509.233) wherein restaurants can apply for permits allowing dogs in outdoor dining spaces.

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But there are requirements. Reasonable ones, in my opinion. Things like leashes, restrictions on employees petting the dogs while serving food and where dogs are allowed to sit.

Some restaurants may be lax on the rules at their own risk, but dogs are actually prohibited from sitting on chairs, tables and other furnishings.

And come on. Does the city really need to tell you that your dog’s butt on the table is not OK?

“We enjoy being a dog-friendly restaurant because we recognize how comfortable dog owners feel when they are with their dogs…” says Maxine Earhart of venerable neighborhood joint Maxine’s on Shine. “Time goes by differently when your pet is with you.”

They’ve been welcoming pooches for the entire decade they’ve been in business. Their own dog, Lucinda, occasionally acts as a greeter. They’re even working on a special menu just for dogs for the coming year. But the house still has rules.

“Well-behaved dogs are welcome, same as well-behaved children,” she explains. “But for instance, if your dog is barking excessively, disrupting other customers, the needs of the many will outweigh the needs of the few.”

How can you make your experience, your dog’s experience, and that of the diners around you more pleasant? Here are a few pointers, from me and Maxine.

“Make a reservation and put in the notes that you are bringing your dog,” says Earhart. “That way the hostess can seat you in a corner or over by our gated dog area. Your dog can dig, play or rest while you enjoy your [meal] and you don’t have to hold the leash the whole time. We want to make your dog comfortable, too.”

Speaking of leashes, long or retractable ones are a bad idea at restaurants for reasons that should be obvious. Animals are expected to remain under the table or chair of those who bring them, as wandering pets are a tripping hazard for patrons and employees — and puts your dog at risk for injury, as well. Attaching the leash to a harness for better control is ideal as dogs can slip out of collars.

Do not tie your pet’s leash to a chair or table so that you can go hands-free.

“That can be a disaster if another pup walks by or your dog sees a squirrel,” Earhart warns.

“Take your dog for a long walk before arriving,” she suggests, along with a cap of two hours on your time at the restaurant.

Like young children, dogs can get bored and antsy sitting in one place for too long. Feeding them beforehand helps, too. And don’t forget the treats! Earhart says chew toys and blankets, which help keep dogs occupied and comfortable beneath the table, are welcome at Maxine’s. Both are a good idea.

Maxine’s is among those restaurants that offer water to canine guests, but restaurants are by no means obligated to do so (and those aforementioned ordinances prohibit dogs from coming in contact with dishes and other items meant for food service). I have a neat, collapsible bowl I keep in my car. Invest in one and pack it.

And definitely not from the restaurant’s plates! Most people food isn’t good for your dog anyway, and the practice may be off-putting to your fellow patrons, some of whom may have dog allergies or be fearful of dogs in general. Be considerate.

Every loving dog owner thinks their pooch is charming, but be honest with yourself before toting Fido to brunch. Does he really have the demeanor to be underfoot in a potentially crowded café where children and other dogs might be? Does she know and follow basic commands like “sit,” “lie down” and (where dropped food is concerned) “leave it?”

If not, grab a pupuccino at the drive-thru and hit the dog park instead.

Got a food question? Find me on Facebook, Twitter or Instagram @amydroo or on the OSFoodie Instagram account @orlando.foodie or email me at amthompson@orlandosentinel.com, and your question could be answered in my weekly Ask Amy Drew column. For more fun, join the Let’s Eat, Orlando Facebook group or follow @fun.things.orlando on Instagram, Facebook and Twitter.